Book Name: Drop the ball
Author: Tiffany Dufu
About the author:
Tiffany is the most sought after
speaker in women leadership. She is the launch team member of Lean In and also
the chief leadership officer of Levo (Courtesy from the book).
What is so interesting about
the book?
It is all about the real
experiences! Also it is not about
someone having the life all easy like a cake walk but is about someone
who has her own difficulties and responsibilities to tackle and also was trying
to find ways to balance work and the life. While reading through the
lines, I felt Tiffany was just echoing the minds of many working moms. While
reading her experiences ,I nodded
myself and said, oh yeah ,I have been there!!!Every page of the book, easily
helps to correlate with our own life experiences!
Tiffany joins the workforce after
maternity with the hope that it would all turn easy to tackle things, only to
be left with a never ending, piling work on either sides! She starts with an
acronym HCD(home control disease).Most women want to control everything at home
in their own ways, leading them to this HCD. While during this process they get
into “Life go round” meaning how much ever they try to knock off the
pending works they still feel they have some more of work piled up and feel
left out. It was a battle for Tifanny to cook, clean, work and take care of her
one year old kid Kofi .It dawns to her that how people in the middle management
take decisions to quit during this phase because they could neither handle both
work and home nor in a position to spend a hefty amount to hire a helping maid!
Finally she puts herself into an
exercise of “What matters to her the most in the life” and finds answers for
the same ,which helps her to stay focused on her priorities. She then sits with an excel which she calls
as MEL(Management excel list) and lists the tasks and tries to map the
ownership amongst the husband and her. During the exercise ,she was appearing
as the primary owner for most of the tasks.She then sits with her husband
Kojo,to redefine the excel and map the tasks against each other. .During the
process, she also finds, it is ok to not map ownership of certain tasks that is
of no importance or that which would not make great significance. She always
felt that her husband does not shoulder her in any household chores and was
always glued to his couch watching TV. But while
during the MEL redefinition , she understands ,his contribution towards
home appeared significant…She also understands that getting help from her
husband brings innovative solutions for the work. .From there on the journey of
sharing the work between the husband and her starts.
With all the juggling journey, she
realizes, one cannot have it all.. We
have to drop the ball , by delegating it
with Joy to others.. Even with her husband staying abroad for a considerable
period, she gladly drops the ball with a joy of delegation for her husband to
pick the tasks…
She also points about recruiting a
village who would help you when you are in dire need. Like taking care of the
kid or helping to pick the kid from the school when both are parents are
stuck with work. The first set of people in the village, would be your
family(not necessarily biological) who can help you by providing solution to
any issues or to whom you can leave your kid, when you have an important work
at office,the second set of people would be your neighbors and the third
set of people are unpaid mothers also known as stay-at-home mothers, these
people help you greatly about happenings in the school and keep you abreast
with the trend.
Lastly she states 4 must go
points for one’s wellbeing!
1.Go to gym-to build your
exercise routine.
2.Go to lunch-This helps in
networking
3.Go to events-This creates
visibility
4.Go to sleep-This helps you to
stay fresh and feel focused.
So after reading the book,the crux
of the message hit me hard , on how the society sees women to play a
multifaceted roles in personal and professional life but in reality,we know
that it is highly impossible. .A women can be peaceful at work when her “All in
partner”(husband) steps up and takes equal responsibility! And yes it is always
good to drop a ball for others to pick rather having it all in our plate!
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